“The Niggles” series of blog posts is about ideas that prickle the psyche. It’s that nagging dry hangnail feeling that intuition puts in the way whenever I haven’t understood a message or if I haven’t given a message that needs to be heard by someone.
Today, the niggly thing is gratitude.
I think it is a misunderstanding, really. Or maybe it’s the toxic-positive version of gratitude. There is a sense in some parts spiritual social media that gratitude is a pathway to achieving something that you want.
“Being grateful for what you have” as a means to an end perverts gratitude. It turns being thankful into something artificial even if the end goal is something very good like happiness, a healthy romance, a feeling of abundance or what have you.
I worry that some things I’ve said or written about so-called soulmates may have been misunderstood. When I said that the best way to attract the love of your life is to be happy with your life as it is right now, I never meant that you have to be grateful for being alone.
But when I said be happy, I meant precisely that. I meant to deliberately find the good stuff in the present moment rather than go through life laser focused on something you don’t have. Think about it. Who would you rather have as your soulmate, a person wrapped in the joy of living, or a person wrapped in worry about the future?
There is a difference between a social convention and a genuine emotion. Yes, by all means, say thank you and be polite even if you don’t feel all that. appreciative. If you spontaneously, naturally, authentically feel that way, then by all means live that. BE grateful with gusto.
“In case you haven’t guessed already, I loves me the bullwhips. The meticulous, repetitive, stretching, checking, cutting, lacing; it is deeply meditative.”
Adam Savage, speaking on Mythbusters about whip making.
public domain
Intuitive messages are wily things. Sometimes they as clear and as forceful as a frying pan to the face, other times they are cagey and elusive and evolve slowly.
We’ve seen this recently as the cards speak in a cascade over the course of the wek. They have been speaking about various aspects of rest & respite. Rest through finding quiet, introspection, and literal physical rest (Four of Swords) rest through a change of perspective (Hanged Man) and today, mental respite through physical activity. Physical activity can be at any level. Some people find a long run the best possible way to clear the mind and ease stress. For me, running IS a stress. Any repetitive activity that doesn’t require a high degree of mental involvement can very much take on the deeply meditative quality that Mr. Savage describes. Putting the neurochemistry and endocrinology of running aside, the key here is the degree of mental involvement, not the cardiovascular involvement. Repetition can be soothing for some people. Mantra & bead meditation is an example, too. Arguably, low key repetitive activity occupies or so-active “monkey mind” enough to allow allow a meditative state to emerge.
Bonus points for doing the thing by yourself. Social behavior, even with one other very close person, engages our mind more than meditation or whatever meditative activity alone, or at least if we are left alone to our thoughts by the people around.
Anything can be a meditative activity. Tai chi is a classic example. But you can add jogging, knitting, and bullwhip making to the list too. Today, maybe this weekend too, is an excellent time to find that physical thing to do that gives rest to mind and spirit.
As Sigmund Freud purportedly said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. The adage that “it is what it is” isn’t as bad as it has been used in recent politics. It speaks to a rugged acceptance of the situation at hand in the present moment.
That sort of accepting mindfulness is the essence of childhood innocence. The energy around today’s card brings to mind the simplicity of a child’s lollipop, pink and red heart shapes, and the small paper valentines school children make and exchange. Even we gnarly old folks can get a sip of that sweetness when we let go of worries and expectations and sink into the present moment with that same acceptance.
That kind of sweet innocence and acceptance is the six of cups message for Valentine’s Day. It’s been a devil of a year. As sexy as self confidence may be, whatever your opinion of all the cards and flowers and high expectations, this Valentine’s Day isn’t the usual. The advice is to let go of this year’s expectations. It is what it is, however lonely, however different, however simplified. Let it be a sweet and simple day. Let it be as open and empty and innocent of a moment as you can.
We can get back to the worry and mayhem soon enough. Let the moment be as it is, and let your heart love however it can.
The Five of Cups is one of those cards that means nearly the same right side up or upside down (reversed as we Tarot types say.) No matter how you approach reversals in your readings, this card is a mood and a vibe either way.
It’s a time for a little smooth jazz or ambient electronica kind of day. I have a feeling we are heading for a Valentines season just like this. No matter how small the “hallmark holiday” is to you as an individual, the collective energies might catch up with intuitives, empaths and sensitives a little bit today. Plus, importantly, it is OK to catch a genuine mood yourself and not blame it on the general zeitgeist. Into every life a little funk must fall.
I call myself a Taoist (among other things) because I tend to see life through a yin-yang lens. Life is ever changing, the taijitu (yin-yang symbol) is ever moving and you can never step into the same river (or quite the same mood) twice. Flowing water is a fairly consistent image for the Five of Cups among Waite-Smith influenced deck, which in turn is consistent with the suit of cups’ association with the element of water. When a mood hits, honor it. Flow with it. It will change soon enough.
So what does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? It gets right back to the emerging pattern from all the cards so far: The best thing you can give the ones is you at your best. The best way to find a soulmate is to find your own happiest life in this present moment. Self-confidence is sexy. Moods come for us all, so flow with yours and be understanding of other people’s.
So thankful for everyone who ordered a distance Tarot reading over the holiday season. It was a pleasure to work with each and every one of you! Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous new year !
I hope you all had a good week. I don’t know about you, but I’m still on turkey overload and enjoying the start of elfcon season. I don’t know why but it seems easier this year. I’m probably massively forgetting something. But with what I am remembering, the YouTube channel will definitely only post once, maybe twice a week, but hopefully the blog will be a bit more active. That I can do in between batches of cookies.
Left: Queen of Swords. Swords are intellect, and queens are nurturing leaders. Think. Help but help smart. Triage and mind your resources. It reminds me of something I once read about UNICEF. They are a good way to help because they have infrastructure in place, and know what is truly USEABLE in an area. If the help doesn’t match the need, you are either throwing paper towels at a flood or donating a high end laptop to a village that doesn’t have electricity. Don’t let ego or impulse trip up your naturally generous nature or helping impulse. I read a Tweet recently that has a valid point: before you send a donation to a senate race in another state, donate food to you local food bank. Supporting good public policy is critical to do long term good, but a meal for a hungry child in your own town is a much more urgent need. In short, put your efforts and energies where they are truly most needed, not necessarily where your first impulse goes, no matter how well intentioned that impulse might be.
Center: Three of Cups. Here’s that Richard Bach quote I was telling you about in the video. “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” This is a good time to celebrate the non-genetic family that means the most to you. They are pure gold in times when families of blood can’t (or choose not to for their own good) be together.
Right: Ace of Cups. Inspiration. This card comes with the mental image of a coin being dropped in a cup. Inspiration comes, it can’t always be sought after. Sleep on it. Put a problem aside just for a minute if you can. The something-else that you do, the other -thing that you think about just might inspire the answer you were seeking in the first place. Creativity has to do with connecting disparate dots as much single minded focus.
The idea of time niggles at me when it gets close to a new year. It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of Doctor Who. Consider this if you will: Time is arbitrary and a portion of time is as much under our control as it is for the fictional Gallifreyans.
Actually, not time itself, but rather the way we name and talk about time is arbitrary. This present moment is the one time under our control.
Right now for me it is a Friday night in November 2020. Cool. Gregorian is good. According to the Julian calendar, it’s something like two weeks ago. 2020 a crazy year? No problem – just call it 5780 as it is on the Hebrew calendar. Let’s hear it for 2563 B.E.!
“Time has no meanings except the ones we give.”
I honestly don’t remember if that is something I read, saw on a poster somewhere, or if is from one of the poems I chucked out in the final edit of Triquitera – but it captures the niggly idea about the arbitrary side of time. Take Thanksgiving, for example. It’s less the day than it is the things we DO. No doubt holidays are deeply tied to the time of year in their aesthetic and energy. I suspect it comes from a time when we celebrated the natural seasons rather than cultural or religious things. Thanksgiving is, essentially, a harvest festival. Regardless of season, couldn’t any gathering with family to enjoy a special meal be Thanksgiving? If you can’t celebrate on the exact day you usually celebrate, would it be any less meaningful if you did the exact same things with the exact same people a week later? Or months later?
Have you caught where this is going yet? Yes, I’m looking at you bare faced germ bags that value your individual fleeting entertainment over human life. Cultural events and social stuff change all the time. It won’t kill you to stay home, wear a mask and celebrate differently this year – but catching a potentially lethal contagious illness just might. Or kill someone you love. Or kill someone that someone else loves. If you put your “freedom to celebrate the holidays” over life and love, then you are a slave to present moment, not a master of it.
With the slightest effort we can all be Time Lords.
We are the ones to place meaning on time…we are powerful enough to observe and celebrate whatever thing at whatever time we choose, either individually or collectively. Thanksgiving or Christmas or what-have-you can happen any day or time that we say it happens. That’s exactly how it all started. Thanksgiving happens on the fourth Thursday in November in the U.S because the 1941 congress said so. Or it is celebrated the second Monday in October because Canada said so. Christmas is the 25th of December NOT because of anyone’s actual birthday, but because Emperor Constantine ordered it – probably as a tactic in archaic culture wars.
Holidays and traditions derive their meaning from the intense personal emotions and connections we place on them. If we give holidays their power, then we have the power to assign when and how they happen. If by necessity, the time and manner of celebrating a holiday has to change for the sake of human life, so be it. We have the power to change it. We have the raw power to imbue any time, any place and any activity with all the love, all the emotion, and all the meaning of a holiday. We have the power to help each other through the normal, natural feelings and disappointments that come in times of change and uncertainty. And we have the power to change it all right back again when the crisis is over. We can dominate time through compassion and adaptation. We can take time itself in our stride if only we have just the tiniest bit of the compassionate, protective strength that the Emperor card teaches.
Or, if you prefer, the lesson the Grinch teaches. Even if a green furry dude take all the stuff, the holiday still happens. Even if one year out of your life is different, the holiday still happens because your intention makes it so. Holidays happen inside of you, not out in the world in the best of times. If you give the day meaning, if you suffuse any time with emotion, meaning and commemoration, then that holiday – that time – is yours.
Sage Sips / TaoCraft Tarot 
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