It’s nice outside



THE OUTSIDER: If you ever don’t feel social, don’t push yourself. Sometimes being on the outside is exactly where you want – or need – to be.

Nothing about being a human is 100% defined 100% of the time. Seldom are things clearly black or white. Most of the time life is a million shades of grey and all the more beautiful for it.

Taking a little time alone doesn’t make you a hard-core introvert. Going out doesn’t mean you are a forever extrovert. Self-care means doing what you need in the moment to be as mentally, emotionally and physically healthy as you can be and keep it that way.

Taking a step outside is a shift in perspective, be it literally outdoors or a step away from the usual social group for an evening or a weekend. Things don’t look so large in your mind when you put them in a big-picture perspective.

The saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys” comes to mind. This isn’t the energy environment for drama. Step away and let the kids work it out among themselves. If it isn’t your issue, don’t engage with the fireworks.

Deck: Alleyway Oracle of Secrets by Seven Dane Asmund used with permission

My Tarot Valentine ’24: Build a Cup

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My Tarot Valentine is a series of blog posts with one card Tarot readings from the collective energy with a focus on love, romance and relationships. I’ve collected the old posts from my previous blogs (TaoCraft Tarot and Modern Oracle Tarot) into an ebook. This year I’m continuing the series with a look at finding your soulmates (twin flame, life partner – whatever term you like to use) all through the lens of the Tarot suit of wands.

Wands are symbolic of fire, philosophy, spirit, and your relationship with yourself.

What does ‘self’ have to do with romantic relationships?

Everything.

Like attracts like. Be the soulmate you want to have in your life.

For example the Three of Wands is about active preparation, optimism, looking forward to a bright future.

If you have found your soulmate, actively cherish them. DO thoughtful things, emphasis on the the thoughtful. In this respect, all of the card suits are engaged, no just the wands. Even if you’ve been together for decades, it’s ok to show your emotion (cups) with thoughtfulness (swords) in any tangible (pentacles) way that hints at the depth (wands) of your feeling.

If you don’t have a relationship like that in your life, and if you want one, then the idea of preparation for something that may or may not ever happen seems odd.

But, on the other hand, how can that special someone step in where there is no room.

If loneliness and searching for your soulmate fills your psyche, there is little room for an actual soulmate to come in. If you are filled with certainty that they exist, the same thing can happen.

Only an empty cup can be filled. Hold space in your life for love to come in. The walls of that room, the sides of that cup are constructed of you – you being happy and healthy and living the best life that you can. That’s the thing that creates the space. That is the thing that prepares the place in your life for soulmate to walk in.

My Tarot Valentine ’24: Ace of Wands

Relationships begin with you.

Loneliness hurts.

It doesn’t feel good to want to be in a romantic relationship but not be. It is painful to feel cut off if you are an extrovert and it is painful to be pushed into uncomfortable social situations if you are an introvert. That particular kind of romantic loneliness can take over your mood and your mindset. It can grow large and block out the view of other things. After all, that particular kind of love and connection is profoundly important to so very many people.

Shallow platitudes are everywhere: “Be grateful for the things you already have” “Happiness comes from within.” People in the throes of loneliness aren’t necessarily in the mood for a namby-pamby woo-woo hand holding kumbaya viewpoint. Sometimes you just want to have a glass of wine and feel sorry for yourself.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your search for that special someone is just give up.

Don’t look for your soulmate, be their soulmate first.

The ace cards are the first card of a suit so they carry a “beginning energy” but not necessarily the brand new beginning energy that you see with the Fool card in the major arcana. It’s not quite the full on second chance new beginning of the Judgement card either. Ace cards are more like a fresh direction within an ongoing process or project.

If you are feeling lonely the Ace of Wands is suggesting a new direction, an adjustment, a minor rethinking about romance.

Ace cards also carry the essence of the suit. Wands are associated with the classical element fire, inner passions, philosophy, spirituality and our relationship with ourselves.

How can something so seemingly self involved help you to find and nurture an intimate relationship with someone else? Isn’t this exactly the realm of Cups cards?

It has to begin with you.

What do you want in a soulmate? (Or whatever you want to call them. I’m an old school Richard Bach reader, so “soulmate” feels like the natural term.)

What would you think of a person who is attracted to a victim? What would you think of someone who was attracted to or aroused by someone who is hurting? Are they compassionate – or are they a predator? Do you want to be loved – or pitied?

Who do you find attractive? Would YOU be more attracted to someone who is laser focused on the very thing they lack and and wrapped up in an imagined but uncertain future – or would you be more attracted to someone who was happy and content and fulfilled right here and right now?

Like attracts like. Be the soulmate you want to have in your life.

Put your time and attention into all the OTHER things you love EXCEPT the search for a soulmate. Do every darn thing ELSE that you enjoy and that makes you happy and makes you fully you. Lighting those inner fires also lights a signal flare. It shines a spotlight on where you are so the right relationships for this place and time can find you.

Think of the ace of wands as giving you the spark to start the process.


My Tarot Valentine is a collection of romance themed Tarot readings from Tarotbytes blog and TaoCraft Tarot blog. It is available as an instant download in the Sage Words Tarot shop