Tag: romance

Q&A: What is my boyfriend up to?

Q: Can you tell me what my boyfriend is hiding from me? He’s acting secretive, and I think I know what it is. What is he going to do and when?

A: There is a lot more to this question than you might think.

Can I tell you what your boyfriend is going to do and when? The short answer is – no.

That sort of thing only happens in movies, TV, and the occasional outright scam. In my opinion, if someone promises to fix your love life or promises to give 100% accurate predictions you should run in the opposite direction.

That being said, even if I could tell what your boyfriend is thinking, I wouldn’t. My personal ethics are to protect everyone’s privacy. I don’t read anyone’s energy without their consent. There is a little bit of nuance to that when it comes to relationship questions, but we can talk about that in another blog post because it doesn’t apply here.

When you see the phrase “no third party questions” on a psychic’s website or disclaimers, that’s what it is talking about. We don’t read anyone other than the person who comes to us and asks the question. No matter what you believe about whether it is even possible to read minds, a real professional will respect everyone’s privacy. That goes for both real world privacy and the mental & spiritual kind too.

What a Tarot reading CAN do is help you build on that “I think I know what it is” part. A good Tarot reading helps you to get your head around the big picture and empower YOUR intuition and empower your part in the relationship.

For example, when I draw a card for this I get…..

The Queen of Cups

Queen cards are about leadership, just as much as king cards are but queens have leadership with a nurturing spin while kings have leadership with a protective quality. The nurturing here is directed at you. There is a sense that it is time to put on the big girl panties and face what is going on. Be a leader in this. The only way to really know what he is thinking is to ask him. Talk about it. Be prepared to start the conversation and be prepared to deal with the fallout. There are reasons why the Queen is the most powerful piece on the chessboard. Would Elizabeth the 1st ask a wizard what to do or would she do what needs done keep the kingdom healthy?

Cups cards do symbolize romance, but older meanings connect them to the element of water and to intuition. What are your instincts? Cards can have different spins, or flavors of meaning. In this case, it is validation. Follow your instincts how to start a conversation with your boyfriend and – importantly – listening to your instincts as the conversation goes on. Listen. Learn from what is said. Follow your intuition about what is said as it happens. Don’t go into it with any preconceived notions. See how the queen is looking into the cup? She’s looking for the deep truths, not surface conclusions. Look, listen and learn, then take the lead and do the right thing.

Thank you for sharing your question with us. You never know who else it might help. Questions are welcome in the comments and will be answered in the blog & podcast. If you would like a detailed private reading by emial, you can order them HERE 24/7 no appointment needed.

Be safe. Be well. Best wishes to you.

YouChoose Interactive Tarot: Speckles

No pressure.

There is zero big deal here. Pick a card, think about the vibe. If it is helpful, use it. If it isn’t, ignore it. I believe that, at risk of sounding like an old Blondie song, one way or another the message you need will get to you if you let it. It might be through the card you choose here. It might be through the crystal that goes with it. So choose quickly on impulse. Stop the video and think about it…it’s all good. Even if your cue(s) don’t come through this at all, heads up, eyes open. Synchronicity is your friend. Spirit whispers through random coincidence if you listen well.

Blue Kayanite – loyalty, fair communication, throat chakra

Red Jasper – nurturing, endurance, warrior stone, base (sacral) chakra

Rose Quartz – inspires compassion & peace, attracts love & romance, heart chakra

Left: Devil. This isn’t predicting something bad will happen. Many times it is a “heads up” acknowledging the reality of evil in the world. There are people out there doing not-good things. The world doesn’t always have your best interests at heart, protect yourself. But that isn’t the vibe today. Oh no, it’s WAY worse than that. It is about you facing the worst of yourself. Some call this shadow work, coming to terms with parts of your own personality and psyche that make the rest of you uncomfortable. If you choose this card, I suggest researching some Carl Jung. *

Center: Six of Pentacles. Generosity and Reciprocity. The card symbolizes generosity of both money (or other physical resources) and a generosity of spirit. There is also a sense of connection to Queen of Wands energy…you can’t be generous with others if you are tapped out yourself. Curate your resources, your health and your energy. When you feel and are abundant in resources it is easier to give generously, and more importantly, authentically of yourself. Doing something because you should or you have to is far more draining than the same thing given spontaneously without attachment to the should or have to part of it.

Right – Five of Cups. A card of melancholy, mourning and bittersweet endings. This feels oddly targeted. It lends itself the most of the three cards to that individuals connected, individuals within a joined matrix impression (like the stones in the video card) It boarders on that trope “I don’t know who needs to hear this…” This is targeted to those who have had a romantic relationship end recently. The advice is to honor the pain. Acknowledge it and feel it in order to move on to healing it. You don’t have to sweep sad, upsetting things under the rug. You don’t have to pretend hurtful things didn’t happen. Whatever the hurt or loss may be, walk through the hurt and the feelings at your own pace. It may not seem like it now, but a time will come when you can move on, even it is a bittersweet progress. Now the energy moves into a regretful letting go, a realization that it is time to move on. The rose quartz is gentle and loving. It can help heal heartbreak, then help attract new, healthy love when the time is right.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Carl Jung

Tarot is an excellent tool and method for just the kind of self-discovery that Dr. Jung speaks of here. I’m not a psychologist, but I can help you learn to use Tarot for yourself or give you an individual advice and guidance reading that can help you with your self-discovery, personal enrichment, spiritual expression or heart-healing learning.

* The morning after this post first published, this showed up in my Twitter feed: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/matauryn/2018/04/29/integrating-the-shadow/

I recommend the article along with Mr. Auryn’s book Psychic Witch.

Order PeaceTarot (a how-to guide to diy daily meditation Tarot readings) available as a .pdf instant download from the TaoCraftTarotShop on Etsy HERE

Order distance Tarot readings (my specialty) with no appointment required HERE

My Tarot Valentine, February 14, 2021: Love on both sides

I picked a Tarot card today, but not at random.

In 2015, the Lovers random appearance inspired the first “My Tarot Valentine” post on

‘Tarotbytes” blog on Modern Oracle Tarot. When the Lovers turned up as “card of the month” it sparked the idea of one card meditation readings specifically focused on love, romance, relationships and Valentine’s Day.

This year, I think the idea has run its course and this is the last of the “My Tarot Valentine” blog posts. Relationship readings and posts won’t go anywhere, I just want to let the energy of them flow organically, and not try to bend the energy toward a seasonal topic. It just seems right to wrap up with the card that started it. What better bookends than love on both sides?

The relationship in question is, I suppose, mine with the blog. It is a pale example of the card’s message, which has changed surprisingly little since it’s first February appearance. But then, you would expect that from the important lesson that major arcana cards tend to teach.

It’s all about desire. Not romance.

It can be any consuming, life-driving want. It could be something material, something spiritual, or a life partner and soulmate. It is asking us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves because of what we don’t have and ask ourselves why we want it in the first place.

Why do we want to celebrate Valentine’s day? Keep in mind, my only exposure to the holiday is the one dripping in American commercialism. “Cheap chocolate and an excuse to buy a bottle of wine” is a perfectly acceptable answer to the question. I like to think that the real motivation is the holiday serves as a prompt to make some sweet, sincere small gesture to show the people in our life how much we care.

This series, this blog is my gesture of appreciation to you. I am thankful to you for reading this. Thank you for appreciating the art and adventure of Tarot with me.

Did you know that anytime you get a reading here, you get your choice of topic? You can ask a specific question, choose a general topic (like romance or relationships or leave the whole reading open and let spirit lead the way.

My Tarot Valentine: Mischief

Bawdy is a fun word. So is burlesque. And unabashed.

The Seven of Swords usually reminds me of the Mundungus character from the Harry Potter movies. He’s a criminal, certainly not trustworthy, greedy, but not pure evil. A sort of nonviolent offender with money on his mind.

The Valentine-context Seven of Swords is a totally different feel. It’s very different energy from the cards so far this season. It is exactly opposite to the innocence we saw in the six of cups.

It brings to mind the “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” quote, but for a whole different reason.

Not every moment is super spiritual and essential to personal growth and development. Spirituality is dour or miserable. Sometimes you have to just live your life. If there is a message here, it feels more like “F*ck it, do what you have to do to make it through.” I’m not suggesting a crime spree for goodness sake…but on the other hand, why not shock polite society a little and do the unthinkable – be happy, be sensual, be human.

My Tarot Valentine: Each Breath

Take a breath.

No, really, take a deep breath. You stopped for a moment to read this (thank you for that) so use it to stare at the screen, look busy but take a deep relaxing breath.

Thanks. I did that too.

The Judgement card is my nemesis. It seems like everyone has a card that resonates with them, that seems to signify where they are in life. Some cards are just comfortable, familiar or welcome. Sometimes a card resonates with an idea or an old battle or some constant struggle…a nemesis.

I won’t introduce you to that particular skeleton in the closet. We’ll get back to that when I get around to writing “Arcana in Balance.”

Still, it is a challenge to connect this card to Valentine’s Day without being overly harsh. So I’ll connect it to a thread of yesterday’s card instead.

Yesterday, the six of cups reminded us of innocence, and the in-the-moment sweetness of simplicity. To taste that sweetness we adults must first release judgements, expectations and pre-conceived notions of what a moment should be. Valentine’s Day this year isn’t business as usual. Let it be the moment it is. Let go of judgement to find your way to the sweetest present moment that you can.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Two Hearts Can Be Better Than One

No video today…having some issues with the YouTube upload. If I can get it to work, I’ll add the video later below. Before we move on to the card, what do you think of the video / written post combination? Comments are open now, so don’t hesitate to speak up (unless you are speaking in spam.) What do you like about the blog? Hate about it? Let me know what kind of Tarot content you want to read, and I’ll do what I can to create it.

I like the authenticity the videos lend to a post. You can see the card drawing itself. You can see that this is a real, random card draw for the post. It gives a visual, relatable window into the Tarot process over and above a static card image. Because of the large file size, it isn’t practical to do this with full, customized distance readings, but for these general audience, short, one card meditations, the blog and YouTube videos (usually) play well together. By that same token, the written blog gives us the space and pace to explore the card with more depth and thoughtfulness than video will tolerate. I can take a few seconds to stop and listen to spirit and intuition while I’m writing. Those few seconds of dead air in a video are a long boring eternity. I like to think that this combination is the best of both mediums.

Other days, like today, are in full “dammit Jim, Imma writer not a yootoober” mode. If I have to re-shoot a video, then the random part of the draw gets lost unless I draw a whole new card, which is easy enough to do. Other times, like today, the first card has something to say. The King of Cups wants to be heard, so I’ll listen despite the technical glitches both in filming and uploading. And no, it isn’t friggen’ Mercury.

Actually, it is a short, simple, straightforward message.

Talk it out.

Relationships are important things. They are hardwired to connect outwardly, and by their very definition and nature connect to other people. Relationships are not something that can be sorted out if they are a swirling jumble inside just your own head. If, for whatever reason, you are not able to talk it out with the significant other in question, then a sounding board of some sort is really helpful. Yes, by all means, talk, text, write, send smoke signals, do anything and everything you can to communicate directly with the other person in the relationship. If that isn’t possible, then talk it out with somebody. At the very least, talk it out in a journal. Turn the self-talk outward be it with pen and paper or be it talking with a trusted friend or family or therapist or psychic or what have you. The process of talking it out, the process of verbalizing or writing it all out may be exactly the process you need to make sense of it all. Have a heart to heart chat with your pet. Organizing your thoughts and feelings and channeling them through your language centers might just be the bridge from feeling to knowing that you need. It is the switch that makes the light bulb click on.

This has nothing to do with traditional interpretations for the card. It is pure intuition in the context of this “My Tarot Valentine” series, but the advice here is also to talk about any big changes in a romantic relationship before your make up your mind and begin the conversation with your love interest. It has that ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it feels important for someone out there’ feeling.

It feels like it is important to talk out the relationship, and any changes you have in mind, yes, but before you act, talk to someone trusted who is older than you and of the same gender as the significant other in question. I ‘hear’ “slow your roll.” Clairaudience is like clairvoyance, except for me when I say ‘hear’ it means that the intuition is in the form of words instead of mental images. I can teach you more about that another time (watch this space!)

But to stay on message…relationships connect outward, so if you have any concerns about a relationship, process it outwardly. Don’t keep going in emotionally charged circles inside your own head. Write it out in a journal if nothing else. Change to a relationship in terms of this card today holds no judgement. It can be good or bad, depending on your individual situation and needs. Whether you are thinking of popping the question or cutting the cord, talk it out with someone you trust, someone who wants the best for you who is a friend or relative (someone who is NOT invested in the outcome except for your happiness) Talk it out with someone older or wiser, preferably someone of the same gender as your significant other. I don’t know why that part, I’m just trusting the intuition there.

And there, as I always say at the end of a reading, the energy steps back.

Technical gremlins are afoot.

So are some changes for spring. I’m not going to give a “hard opening” for a new distance reading that I hope to develop. I’m hoping to announce a big change for the spring equinox. Please go to the right side of the page (or scroll WAYYYY down if you are on mobile) and follow the blog so all new posts, video or otherwise, will come right to you inbox along with the big announcement. Well, not that big. Think cool, new and improved. Nifty and fun even. Stay tuned!

My Tarot Valentine 2021: The Whole Enchilada

Enchiladas are tasty.

I wonder how everyone out there in the world is feeling about Valentine’s day. The pandemic is obviously throwing a big monkey wrench in the ‘hallmark holiday’ go out and eat, cards and flowers aspect of the thing. I’m personally more interested on trolling for on-sale leftover chocolate at the mega-mart the on the 15th.

In the huge big picture of things, Valentines Day has become a big commercialized nothing-burger. If you really love someone, any day is a good day to show a token of your affection. I’d say surprising them with it on any other day except Valentines Day would be more fun. Although I’m down with dinners out and heart shaped boxes of chocolates. It’s cool. In these times where indoor gatherings with ANYONE you don’t already live with is an open invitation to mutant viruses that could kill you (or someone you care about) Valentines Day takes on a new importance in that it is a good excuse to communicate with anyone and everyone you know. So fire up those sappy cards and emails – heck, send ’em a .gif. It’s whole usefulness in modern culture has been a reminder to express affection for those for whom we feel affection anyway. And cheap chocolate.

In the whole big picture of things, Valentines Day gives a nod to something big and important in our human existence: love, romance and heart to heart connections of every kind.

The chocolate is a bonus.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Do Your Way

It’s the church lady (think Dana Carvey on Saturday Night Live) version of the infinite monkey theory.

My mom is exceedingly fond of stuff with sayings on them. Mugs, shower curtains, calendars, address books – you name it. It was like growing up in a very church-y Hallmark store. Like the infinite monkeys typing that finally came up with a copy of Hamlet, the mass of platitudes came up with one that actually made sense, in a mind-body connection sort of way.

“Don’t think yourself into a new way of doing, do yourself into a new way of thinking.” – some unknown sappy platitude writer

The Knight of Wands is about adventure, travel, experimentation, newness. It feels like the card is directed to people on the hunt for a soulmate. It isn’t a traditional meaning for the Knight of Wands, but intuitively the Knight is whacking us over the head with the apparent theme for this year’s “Tarot Valentine” series: Self confidence is sexy.

Knight cards are active. They are about doing. Wands cards are about inner fire, our inner, spiritual, philosophical world. Today’s card reminds me very much of “do yourself into a new way of thinking.” It’s a little like “fake it until you make it” but without the fake part. Sincerely do things differently and your thinking will change. You’ll KNOW how good or bad the change is for you. Once the experience of DOing a thing shows you the actuality, then you can embrace or reject the thing not from thinking but from the knowing that only experience can give. “Experience teaches all things” is attributed to Julius Caesar, not the shower curtain.

So what does that have to do with Valentines Day and such?

Here is my thought: Self-confidence is sexy. The pandemic may make this impossible for a while, but when things get back to normal, DO things that take your mind off of being lonely. NO, not going to bars on a heat seeking find-my-soulmate mission. DO something that you enjoy, nay, something you LOVE doing that is not romance or relationship related. DO what you love doing. Put your heart and mind into that, which is in essence a big investment in yourself and your self-actualization, and your autonomy and your maturity and your personal development and – did I mention that self-confidence is attractive?

I mean, look at it this way…who would you rather spend your time with? Would you rather be with someone whose mind an heart is wrapped up in how lonely they are or someone who is already happy and living their best life? If a person is already giving love and attention to what they are doing, that demonstrates they are capable of giving love and attention to you. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of already-existing joi de vie. If someone is all wrapped up in finding a soulmate in order to make them happy, all that shows is that they want YOU to make THEM happy. Not many people are going to sign up for that.

Finding a new love, a soulmate, that certain special someone is a sort of inner alchemy. Living happy draws love to you. Giving your love and attention to the life you already have (or to making it a good life without a soulmate) might be just the thing to DO your way to an attractive, self-confident way of thinking.

Today’s Tarot: Love Upside Down

Everybody loves the love card.

The Lovers card from the major arcana has a reputation for being the big romance card, the one that means THE one is on the way. Not so much. Sure, the Lovers has a big, passionate, lustful, torrid romance energy around it but it doesn’t necessarily connect to a meaningful or lasting relationship. The lovers represents any strong desire, any lust we may have in life.

If you are hoping for a long lasting, satisfying, really meaningful relationship, then the two of Cups is the card you want to see. As I read the cards, Cups reflect our closest relationships. It might mean marriage, but it could also be children, parents, closest friends or any of your most inner circle.

If you are hellbent and fixated on finding that special someone, then reversed two of cups is the worst possible news. That aspect of life is hitting some bumps in the road. It doesn’t mean you’ll never get married, it means that other important relationships that aren’t marriage related are suffering or that the energy flow to do with marriage is slowed, blocked, or otherwise problematic (probably because of the hellbent and fixated part.)

Any relationship, even the ones in your life that are already loving and committed can hit rough patches. Anyone can get on anyone else’s nerves. It’s only human. If you are in a relationship and you see this, don’t panic. Give the love of your life a little extra TLC. Or a lot.

If you are in a relationship that is in real trouble and you see this card, don’t panic. Look inside. Is this really news, or is it confirmation of what you already know but don’t want to admit? You may be asked to give love to yourself, to healing, instead of to another person for a time.

If you aren’t in a marriage-like relationship but really want to be and you see is card, don’t panic. Just put your energy, love and attention into something else. Don’t chase, attract. Magnetize. Live. Be. Let’s just say it. Content and self confident is sexy.

Attract love to you by turning your cup upside down. Call love to you by giving love to people and things that are already in your life right now. A cup has to turn to pour. Love is the one thing you get more of by giving it to other people.