Tag: my tarot valentine

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Any Little Gesture

Chivalry is such a quaint word.

You don’t hear it much any more. It comes to mind today with the Knight of Cups today, in a sweet, kissy-kissy way. I can’t blame you if you just aren’t in the mood for it. As I write this it is first thing in the morning and I’m not in the mood form much other than a large latte. Like Gurney Halleck in the Dune movie tells us, “moods are a thing for loveplay and cattle” Loveplay it is then.

In another movie, The Crow, Eric tells us (in the scene where he visits Officer Albrecht at home) “Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.” Little things mean a lot. Little gestures mean a lot.

Things that may seem trivial to you at the time might just be a little treasure to those who care about you. Don’t be surprised if small gestures of affection – in any human connection, not just grand romance – give you a little heartbeat of happiness too.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Do Your Way

It’s the church lady (think Dana Carvey on Saturday Night Live) version of the infinite monkey theory.

My mom is exceedingly fond of stuff with sayings on them. Mugs, shower curtains, calendars, address books – you name it. It was like growing up in a very church-y Hallmark store. Like the infinite monkeys typing that finally came up with a copy of Hamlet, the mass of platitudes came up with one that actually made sense, in a mind-body connection sort of way.

“Don’t think yourself into a new way of doing, do yourself into a new way of thinking.” – some unknown sappy platitude writer

The Knight of Wands is about adventure, travel, experimentation, newness. It feels like the card is directed to people on the hunt for a soulmate. It isn’t a traditional meaning for the Knight of Wands, but intuitively the Knight is whacking us over the head with the apparent theme for this year’s “Tarot Valentine” series: Self confidence is sexy.

Knight cards are active. They are about doing. Wands cards are about inner fire, our inner, spiritual, philosophical world. Today’s card reminds me very much of “do yourself into a new way of thinking.” It’s a little like “fake it until you make it” but without the fake part. Sincerely do things differently and your thinking will change. You’ll KNOW how good or bad the change is for you. Once the experience of DOing a thing shows you the actuality, then you can embrace or reject the thing not from thinking but from the knowing that only experience can give. “Experience teaches all things” is attributed to Julius Caesar, not the shower curtain.

So what does that have to do with Valentines Day and such?

Here is my thought: Self-confidence is sexy. The pandemic may make this impossible for a while, but when things get back to normal, DO things that take your mind off of being lonely. NO, not going to bars on a heat seeking find-my-soulmate mission. DO something that you enjoy, nay, something you LOVE doing that is not romance or relationship related. DO what you love doing. Put your heart and mind into that, which is in essence a big investment in yourself and your self-actualization, and your autonomy and your maturity and your personal development and – did I mention that self-confidence is attractive?

I mean, look at it this way…who would you rather spend your time with? Would you rather be with someone whose mind an heart is wrapped up in how lonely they are or someone who is already happy and living their best life? If a person is already giving love and attention to what they are doing, that demonstrates they are capable of giving love and attention to you. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of already-existing joi de vie. If someone is all wrapped up in finding a soulmate in order to make them happy, all that shows is that they want YOU to make THEM happy. Not many people are going to sign up for that.

Finding a new love, a soulmate, that certain special someone is a sort of inner alchemy. Living happy draws love to you. Giving your love and attention to the life you already have (or to making it a good life without a soulmate) might be just the thing to DO your way to an attractive, self-confident way of thinking.

My Tarot Valentine: Don’t Romance Hangry

It’s a reflex.

It’s so easy that it is almost impossible to stop yourself from snapping at loved ones when you are stressed, cranky, tired, hangry or pushed to the limit by whatever. It’s proximity, just like the nerve reflexes your doctor checks with the little rubber hammer thingy. Particular nerve reflexes are wired so that they basically short out across the spinal cord and bypass the brain entirely. Your leg moves with the hammer boink without you thinking about it or willing it to do it…or not do it. It’s the same brain-bypass that lets you snap your hand back from a hot pan so you don’t get burned.

Reflexes bypass language editing centers. I don’t know about you, but when one of those injury avoiding ‘ouch’ reflexes happen, it is usually accompanied by at least “OW” and usually a swear or two. Reflexes happen faster than cognitive processing, they don’t go all the way to the brain and have a shorter distance for the nerve impulse to travel, for a simplified way to look at it.

The same is true when we are under stress. It is quick and easy to take it out on loved ones because, with any kind of luck, they are relatively close at hand. The stress has a short distance to travel. If you are the stressed one, it is hard to stop yourself from doing that. If you are the one in the splash zone of your loved one’s stress, it is hard to stop yourself from getting reflexively defensive and splashing a little bit too.

I’ve learned this from my spouse who is a freaking saint to put up with me my crankies, but taking care of yourself is an act of love for the ones you are closest to. Get a nap, have a snack, whatever it is that works to manage your stress…DO it. You’ll be doing a favor for your own mental health as well as giving a token of affection to those who you love…and who love you.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Look to See

There us a feeling of newness and if expanding horizons. I think I see why the feeling to reach for the Heart of Stars deck (by Thom Pham, all rights reserved, used with pefmission). Superman ties today’s card to yesterday.

Remember how the Devil card hinted that it is far better to put your energy into being happy alone than to tie yourself in knots just for the sake of being in a relationship? It is better to be alone than to make your partner bear the weight of the relationship by hoping they’ll change or be different this time. It’s ok to be counterculture especially if that gives you the wherewithal to be loving and compassionate yo yourself and to others. Plus, perhaps more importantly, self confidence is sexy. Dare to be comfortable in your own skin and happy in this present moment.

The “superperson” in this case is someone who has conqured that. Imagine it us someone who has eeked out just a little more of that self assured, right-here-happy energy. This might be a hint of new love to come or a deepening of live already here.

The three of wands has a watching quality. Everyone wants to be seen and heard. Attention nourishes all types of love. Attention is a potent aphrodesiac if that is the kind of mutual relationship you are in.

Give your full attention to all those you love the most.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: It’s been a devil of a year

That’s fitting.

If there is a time in history for the Devil card to be the first Tarot Valentine’s card of the season, I suppose this would be it. The separation imposed by the Pandemic has been a devil of thing for a lot of people, especially those with very social or extroverted personalities. This year you can go out with your love interest and risk their death. At least it seems so here in the U.S. where so many people have done so many things so wrong.

If there is advice in this card in this context, it would be the same as every other year and Valentine’s season…don’t let loneliness drive you into making bad decisions. Never go into a relationship that you know isn’t right or safe just for the sake of being in a relationship with someone. Lonely hurts, but alone isn’t lethal.

In a sense the advice is also to be a Devil. Not to other people, but to preconceived ideas. Be a pink hearts and lacey romance rebel. It is OK to be alone. It is OK to not be in the mood for kissy kissy romance after the past year. It is OK to be an dark expresso latte in a candy heart world. Harm none, and do what thou will. Find love in what is, not what is wished for.

My Tarot Valentine 2020: Queen of Pentacles

Heart of Star Tarot by Thom Pham. Used with permission.

There are a million was to show affection.

Sometimes it is a smile to a stranger. Or making a favorite meal. Or not saying anything when it’s not your favorite meal. Or asking if you have your keys and phone. Or putting a little extra salt on the ice by where you park your car. Or sending a random funny meme. Or letting yourself nap. Or giving an extra long hug. Chocolates are nice, but the little everyday sprinkles of love are the best.