Tag: love

How To Find Your Soulmate

This is an updated, combined version of my two-part post from 2009. Stay tuned for a more soulmate themed posts from the Tarotbytes archives.

The question of “how do I find my soulmate” (or some version of that) comes up in Tarot readings a LOT. I asked the question a LOT when I was younger and first started going to get psychic readings. Little did I know then that I would wind up doing this kind of work. After seeing the soulmate question from both sides, I have a few ideas that to offer. 

 

First, don’t worry about time. Love is one of those cosmic truths beyond time. Love has no need to respond to our time schedules or expectations because it exists beyond time. It is everywhere, always. The time and place for it to take a specific form is not something we control, cause or find.  “It happens in its own time” and “you can’t hurry love” are both very true. So don’t worry about WHEN. Once you take that “when” pressure off of yourself, and off of your unknown soulmate, then that creates more energetic space for the relationship to step into.

If the loneliness gets to be too much, and sometimes it does, remember that Love exists. It is an inseparable part of the cosmos. So are you.  Look up. You and your soulmate exist under the same sky. Love touches you even in the times when you least feel it.

Second, why not let your soulmate find you? The outward flowing, struggling quality of “finding” a soulmate is often counter-productive. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally. Fighting the current, not ‘going with the flow’ only makes things harder. Think about a crowded amusement park. If you are constantly on the move, in among the crowd, what are the chances you will find that one person? What are the chances they can find you? Now, imagine standing on a bench and waving hello. What are the chances they will see you in the crowd now? If you are happy, relaxed, loving, compassionate, and being your genuine self, then you are more likely to attract your perfect mate to you.

Third, use the spiritual law of similars. “Birds of a feather flock together” is a thing. Soulmate energy seems to vibrate along the law of similars – like attracts like. Or as Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” If you are going to attract people who are like you, what kind of soulmate do you want to draw into your life? One obsessed with being lonely, impatient, constantly seeking? Or do want a soulmate who is happy, and enjoying life just as it is right now? You do you…and enjoy every minute of it, and that sends a signal to the perfect match FOR you. That happiness is lighthouse, signaling to your soulmate. Nothing calls out to your perfect soulmate like being your genuine, happy self. Remember that other spiritual law: Confidence is sexy. Learning to feel comfortable in your own skin is an essential step.

Fourth, do things that you love to do. Going to bars or whatever with the sole purpose of “finding a soulmate” seldom works. Do something you love and that love, that light, will shine out to the people who love you for that thing you do. They say common interests are a good foundation for building a relationship. If you love, love, LOVE going to smoky bars and hanging out with drunk people, by all means that is the way to find a soulmate. If not, skip that idea and do whatever it is that you really do love. Do things that you really care about and things that feel like they feed your soul. You might find your perfect someone at that same spiritual buffet.

Feeling lonely, feeling like someone or something is missing from your life is difficult. Soulmates are deeply important, which is why they capture so much of our thoughts and emotional energy.  There are no glib or easy answers to finding love and acceptance. It comes in many forms. Love saturates the universe. Perhaps the key to finding out soulmate is finding love where ever it exists and, most of all, living the Love that exists within yourself.

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Tarot Without a Net: The Lovers

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*Spoiler Alert*

The boat sinks.

I’ve never seen “Titanic” and precisely zero interest in ever watching it. I don’t care for romance movies, and from everything I’ve heard the movie has a disturbing lack of comedy and/or spaceships.

I have no idea why the artist picked this image to represent heart’s desire, or even lusty romance. I’m not feeling a lot of connection with the deck through this card, probably from my impression of the movie it represents way more than the card or the artwork itself.

The Lover’s is an interesting and often misunderstood card, thanks to the movie mythos that the lovers card means a hot romance is on the way with the marriage of a lifetime soon to follow. In my experience, the card is far more abstract than that. It is more akin to “I love ice cream” than the handfasting, marriage, committed, soulmate, love of a lifetime energy that we see in the Two of Cups. The Lovers symbolizes the hot flame that burns short rather than the enduring ember that burns long. Don’t get me wrong, there is some connection, because many if not all long lasting relationships start with SOME sort of spark. Maybe that is why the artist chose this love story from a movie. Maybe the movie portrays a hot romance that gets cut short by a quick dunk in the north Atlantic. Still, it niggles at me that it is wrapped up in a romantic relationship. The Lovers card can be more than that….which is saying something considering how enormous romance is within the human heart. And that’s with leaving the hormones out of it. Like everything there is a two sided yin and yang of it. (See “Arcana in Balance: The Lovers from the Tarotbytes archives).

It isn’t to say that lust, sex, love, desire and full throttle joy of living is bad. Quite the opposite. On one hand, all of those things are part of normal human existence and is as worthy of acceptance as any other emotion. That physicality and abject hedonism is certainly one part of it, but it also transcends the physical. On the other hand, the desire Lover’s card can extend far beyond the realm of romantic relationship. It touches our careers….do we earn our living doing something we are passionate about? In that way The Lovers card asks us to consider our purpose in life, our raison d’etre, our calling if you will. Emotionally it touches on satisfaction, contentment, and emotional needs being met. Intellectually, it touches curiosity, enthusiasm, and voracious learning. Arguably, passion resides in the mind as much as the heart or the hormones. You can be a passionate bowler, or stamp collector as well as being capable of passionate romance. You can be passionate about anything. Love is a big concept that encompasses all sorts of things.

So lets pick up the book and see what the artist has to say:

Whew! Even though we differ in movie taste, the basic interpretation is similar. He also talks about emotions, the joy of living and loving what you do. The connection to the card is similar (it is a fun to get that kind of validation every now and again, even if you have been  reading Tarot a long time) even if my connection to the movie represented is obviously quite different. That is the danger of using pop culture references in Tarot. Not everyone has seen every reference or interprets the reference material the same way, even if the intuitive engagement with the Tarot card itself is identical.

When a pop culture reference comes up in a reading (regardless of the deck I’m using) but the client either doesn’t know the reference or responds to it differently than the message and card intend…the thing to do is drop the reference like a hot potato. When that happens you either have to find a different cultural reference that does communicate the intended message OR leave references aside and use your good old fashioned vocabulary. Adjectives are our friends. References like these can be wonderful communication tools, but they aren’t worth holding onto so tight that the reading suffers.

 

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