Tag: how can I find my soulmate

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Do Your Way

It’s the church lady (think Dana Carvey on Saturday Night Live) version of the infinite monkey theory.

My mom is exceedingly fond of stuff with sayings on them. Mugs, shower curtains, calendars, address books – you name it. It was like growing up in a very church-y Hallmark store. Like the infinite monkeys typing that finally came up with a copy of Hamlet, the mass of platitudes came up with one that actually made sense, in a mind-body connection sort of way.

“Don’t think yourself into a new way of doing, do yourself into a new way of thinking.” – some unknown sappy platitude writer

The Knight of Wands is about adventure, travel, experimentation, newness. It feels like the card is directed to people on the hunt for a soulmate. It isn’t a traditional meaning for the Knight of Wands, but intuitively the Knight is whacking us over the head with the apparent theme for this year’s “Tarot Valentine” series: Self confidence is sexy.

Knight cards are active. They are about doing. Wands cards are about inner fire, our inner, spiritual, philosophical world. Today’s card reminds me very much of “do yourself into a new way of thinking.” It’s a little like “fake it until you make it” but without the fake part. Sincerely do things differently and your thinking will change. You’ll KNOW how good or bad the change is for you. Once the experience of DOing a thing shows you the actuality, then you can embrace or reject the thing not from thinking but from the knowing that only experience can give. “Experience teaches all things” is attributed to Julius Caesar, not the shower curtain.

So what does that have to do with Valentines Day and such?

Here is my thought: Self-confidence is sexy. The pandemic may make this impossible for a while, but when things get back to normal, DO things that take your mind off of being lonely. NO, not going to bars on a heat seeking find-my-soulmate mission. DO something that you enjoy, nay, something you LOVE doing that is not romance or relationship related. DO what you love doing. Put your heart and mind into that, which is in essence a big investment in yourself and your self-actualization, and your autonomy and your maturity and your personal development and – did I mention that self-confidence is attractive?

I mean, look at it this way…who would you rather spend your time with? Would you rather be with someone whose mind an heart is wrapped up in how lonely they are or someone who is already happy and living their best life? If a person is already giving love and attention to what they are doing, that demonstrates they are capable of giving love and attention to you. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of already-existing joi de vie. If someone is all wrapped up in finding a soulmate in order to make them happy, all that shows is that they want YOU to make THEM happy. Not many people are going to sign up for that.

Finding a new love, a soulmate, that certain special someone is a sort of inner alchemy. Living happy draws love to you. Giving your love and attention to the life you already have (or to making it a good life without a soulmate) might be just the thing to DO your way to an attractive, self-confident way of thinking.

How To Find Your Soulmate

This is an updated, combined version of my two-part post from 2009. Stay tuned for a more soulmate themed posts from the Tarotbytes archives.

The question of “how do I find my soulmate” (or some version of that) comes up in Tarot readings a LOT. I asked the question a LOT when I was younger and first started going to get psychic readings. Little did I know then that I would wind up doing this kind of work. After seeing the soulmate question from both sides, I have a few ideas that to offer. 

 

First, don’t worry about time. Love is one of those cosmic truths beyond time. Love has no need to respond to our time schedules or expectations because it exists beyond time. It is everywhere, always. The time and place for it to take a specific form is not something we control, cause or find.  “It happens in its own time” and “you can’t hurry love” are both very true. So don’t worry about WHEN. Once you take that “when” pressure off of yourself, and off of your unknown soulmate, then that creates more energetic space for the relationship to step into.

If the loneliness gets to be too much, and sometimes it does, remember that Love exists. It is an inseparable part of the cosmos. So are you.  Look up. You and your soulmate exist under the same sky. Love touches you even in the times when you least feel it.

Second, why not let your soulmate find you? The outward flowing, struggling quality of “finding” a soulmate is often counter-productive. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally. Fighting the current, not ‘going with the flow’ only makes things harder. Think about a crowded amusement park. If you are constantly on the move, in among the crowd, what are the chances you will find that one person? What are the chances they can find you? Now, imagine standing on a bench and waving hello. What are the chances they will see you in the crowd now? If you are happy, relaxed, loving, compassionate, and being your genuine self, then you are more likely to attract your perfect mate to you.

Third, use the spiritual law of similars. “Birds of a feather flock together” is a thing. Soulmate energy seems to vibrate along the law of similars – like attracts like. Or as Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” If you are going to attract people who are like you, what kind of soulmate do you want to draw into your life? One obsessed with being lonely, impatient, constantly seeking? Or do want a soulmate who is happy, and enjoying life just as it is right now? You do you…and enjoy every minute of it, and that sends a signal to the perfect match FOR you. That happiness is lighthouse, signaling to your soulmate. Nothing calls out to your perfect soulmate like being your genuine, happy self. Remember that other spiritual law: Confidence is sexy. Learning to feel comfortable in your own skin is an essential step.

Fourth, do things that you love to do. Going to bars or whatever with the sole purpose of “finding a soulmate” seldom works. Do something you love and that love, that light, will shine out to the people who love you for that thing you do. They say common interests are a good foundation for building a relationship. If you love, love, LOVE going to smoky bars and hanging out with drunk people, by all means that is the way to find a soulmate. If not, skip that idea and do whatever it is that you really do love. Do things that you really care about and things that feel like they feed your soul. You might find your perfect someone at that same spiritual buffet.

Feeling lonely, feeling like someone or something is missing from your life is difficult. Soulmates are deeply important, which is why they capture so much of our thoughts and emotional energy.  There are no glib or easy answers to finding love and acceptance. It comes in many forms. Love saturates the universe. Perhaps the key to finding out soulmate is finding love where ever it exists and, most of all, living the Love that exists within yourself.

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