Tag: grief

Action Eases Anxiety: Hard Road to Wisdom

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What it is (left)

THE COFFIN: Something has ended. No one decides the depth of that loss for you but you. Grief and sadness are valid emotions. Honor them as you see fit for as long as you need.

The platitude “don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad that it happened” rings as profoundly toxic and wrong-headed here.

No one gets to tell your emotions but you. They are yours to be named, faced, and released in your own good time.

It isn’t a matter of healing. This assumes with great hubris that the processes of grief and loss are unhealthy. The feelings aren’t unhealthy. Processing them, sitting with them, feeling them IS the healthy thing. Suppressing them, bottling them, ignoring them, smothering emotions in toxic positivism….THAT is the thing that needs healed.

It’s hard to trust in the face of profound losses. Fault or blame is of no value. Even if you can’t trust others enough to share your emotions with them, trust yourself enough to feel them, face them – and survive the experience of it.

What to do (right)

THE LILIES: I don’t know how it is in other cultures, but in the Appalachian evangelical culture where I was born, lilies are a common flower for funerals. It has an almost exclusively religious meaning in that context. It was always connected to Christian symbolism like redemption, resurrection, a return of the soul to heaven – a litany of things that hold no truth or significance for me individually.

If those things are meaningful for you here, please, by all means embrace them in any way that they help you.

I think there is another message here, drawn from the general symbolism of giving flowers, any flowers, as a gesture of good wishes. We give flowers as a message of sympathy, condolences, love and support for those who grieve at a funeral, but we also give flowers in celebration of holidays, birthdays. They are a part of weddings for good reasons. This is the energy I see around the lilies card.

It is a reminder of the whole spectrum of human emotions. Flowers are a reminder of all we feel and all that is possible. Loss of any kind is never easy. Grief exists within its own timeline and it exists side by side with all the other emotions in life.

It takes particular strength to choose the flowers of love and compassion from the bouquet of everything that life hands us. Choosing kindness toward your own emotions and that of others is a beautiful flower within our humanity. Choosing compassion in the face of loss is perhaps the hardest thing to do, the hardest flower to grow.

Wisdom is always hard-won.

Deck: Healing Light Lenormand by Christopher Butler copyright 2021 all rights reserved, used with permissions listed on llwellynpublishing.com

“I kinda like it in here. It’s private.”

Mythbusters was on TV. I needed that.

One of my many, many favorite moments from the show is the time when Jamie was wearing a silver fire suit. You couldn’t see see him through the face mask at all, only hear him deadpanning “I kinda like it in here. It’s private.”

Here is why that moment comes to mind:

If you work with energy, intuition or do professional readings there are times when you need a mental fire suit.

If you want a real deal, deep dive, time tested and reliable resource on the topic, go get yourself a copy of “Psychic Protection” by Ted Andrews. It is far and away the best resource I’ve ever read about healthy psychic work, bar none. But for the purposes of our little blog post, there are two basic concepts I want to focus on: Empathic sensitivity and Zeitgeist sensitivity or energy resonance.

As I understand it, empaths feel other people’s emotions as if they were their own. The boundary between their own true feelings and the feelings of other people is often thin, blurry, or difficult to find. Very sensitive empaths regulate this through proximity. They know (or can learn) their boundaries and respect their limits. When emotional levels become too intense or overwhelming they exit the situation. Highly sensitive empaths are careful where and how they engage with crowded environments like bars or shopping malls for example. I know of two very skilled, very wise, very kind psychic readers who are selective about where they go and how long they stay in busy public places. It’s not in any way the product of anxiety or agoraphobia. It’s pure self care. It takes time, experience and a great deal of self awareness for these high vibration folks to learn where their boundaries are and how to manage them.

For those of us who are generally energy sensitive, but not emotionally empathic, it is quite a bit easier to see that boundary between our own emotions and general environmental energies. I like to think of it as zeitgeist sensitivity or energy resonance separate from any empathic process.

Zeitgeist means the general mood of a time or a cultural phenomenon. In my experience, this is the energy we tap into when we post a general reading for a blog or on social media without a specific individual in mind. The cultural mood of the time, the zeitgeist, is the general-public parallel with the higher self, spirit guides or divine that we sense in an individual Tarot session.

In times of great emergency like the current pandemic, the cultural energy is so strong, so ubiquitous, and so pervasive that the lines become blurred even for those of us who are not usually empathic. It is helpful to think of this like resonance from physics. Think of the tuned bells in a hand bell choir. If you strike a tuning fork and hold it very close, a bell tuned to that some note could in theory vibrate along with it. If our intuition is sensitive to cultural zeitgeists then we can resonate with that environmental energy. The general zeitgeist, through resonance, rings our bell too.

The Covid-19 pandemic has been a giant bell-ringer for everyone. I worry for our very empathic friends. There is very real danger, illness, grief, and hardship out there. I can’t imagine any sane person who is NOT experiencing SOME level of adjustment. Imagine feeling the real things we are all facing, plus the emotions of others on top of it all. For those of us lucky enough to be safe and well at the moment, it still might be a good idea to get our mental fire suit out.

In order to do our best readings for our clients, and to maintain our own psychic / spiritual health, I think it is important for all sensitives, intuitives, Tarot readers and the like to take care of their emotional boundaries in a time like this. It is important to know what is your own, inner, real, valid, valuable, genuine emotions and what is the outside world ringing your bell.

Intention, as always, is everything. Finding your emotional boundaries and putting on your fire suit can be as simple as visualizing. Imagine yourself surrounded by white or golden light. When I was in my teens, before I was at a place in life where I could quit, I would sit in the more toxic Sunday services at my parent’s church and visualize myself wearing an orange hazmat suit. It helped. Now I have a whole variety of energy protecting, boundary fortifying, zeitgeist clarifying tools: black tourmaline, discreet pentacles and sigils, aura clearing aromatherapy spray, visualizations and more. Yes, it is all full-throttle woo woo but it has value. It helps me understand my emotions with greater clarity, it helps me understand the outer situation, and helps me keep logic and reason close at hand. That makes it worth it, no matter how woo-woo it might seem to some folks. It may take some trial and error, but you can find your fire suit too. I encourage you to find the things that help you see what is your emotion (so you can honor it) and what is the outside world pinging your boundary lines (so you can put that information to good use.) If you aren’t sure, try a little visualization and active imagination. Imagine yourself wearing a protective fire suit that keeps out any vibe not coming from your own true heart. The suit doesn’t cut you off from the world. You still feel the heat of it all. The suit lets you know that you aren’t the one on fire.