Tag: card meaning

“There is a difference between solitude and loneliness”

Maggie Smith

“There is a difference between solitude and loneliness” – Maggie Smith

The source wasn’t cited, but recently on social media someone posted a meme that said something along the lines of “Loneliness is the price you pay for personal growth.”

Yes and No. 

On one hand, it is a very common thing that I’ve seen time and time and time again in Tarot clients – and have experienced myself…

When you heal or grow as a person, old connections often fall away. Sometimes you simply outgrow old friends or family members. Sometimes you all are growing in lovely, healthy, beautiful ways – but in entirely different directions. Whatever the reason, that change can feel very lonely. 

Your path to wisdom, autonomy, and emotional maturity is uniquely your own so yes, your spiritual path is one you by definition must walk alone. 

But no, it need not be lonely. Not at all. 

“There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.” We walk our spiritual paths alone, but it can be a journey of peaceful solitude rather than painful loneliness. 

As old friends fall away, we can hold space for new ones to come along. When we are true to ourselves and learn to make peace with our path, we often find ourselves in more company than we expected. “Your vibe calls your tribe” as the saying goes.

If our path is lonely rather than peaceful solitude, it begs the question of who are we lonely for? Are we lonely for other people or are we lonely for a happier version of ourselves? Being at peace with outer life can only begin with accepting and making friends with our inner selves. When the Hermit on the card holds his lantern up to a mirror, what does he see? 

The beautiful part of walking a solitary path is that it is still progress. If you don’t like what you see in the Hermit’s mirror, change it. In the words of Alan Watts “You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

This kind of change is well within your power to do, but it has risk. 

For good or for bad, other people might not like the changes you make. The change, like the Hermit’s lamp, brings the problems to light. Those who never respected you in the beginning, those who take advantage of you or project their issues on to you are probably the only ones falling away. The unhealthy relationships are the first to go. The people who need you to be at your worst are often the first to fade away when you are at your best.

Alone need not be lonely. Sometimes alone is freedom. Time alone often gives your spirit the space to heal. No one can do that for you. The key to transforming loneliness into peaceful solitude is not other people. It’s you, making peace with you.

Loneliness isn’t a call to fill an empty spot with another person. Loneliness is a call to fill the emptiness with the best version yourself.