My Tarot Valentine, February 14, 2021: Love on both sides

I picked a Tarot card today, but not at random.

In 2015, the Lovers random appearance inspired the first “My Tarot Valentine” post on

‘Tarotbytes” blog on Modern Oracle Tarot. When the Lovers turned up as “card of the month” it sparked the idea of one card meditation readings specifically focused on love, romance, relationships and Valentine’s Day.

This year, I think the idea has run its course and this is the last of the “My Tarot Valentine” blog posts. Relationship readings and posts won’t go anywhere, I just want to let the energy of them flow organically, and not try to bend the energy toward a seasonal topic. It just seems right to wrap up with the card that started it. What better bookends than love on both sides?

The relationship in question is, I suppose, mine with the blog. It is a pale example of the card’s message, which has changed surprisingly little since it’s first February appearance. But then, you would expect that from the important lesson that major arcana cards tend to teach.

It’s all about desire. Not romance.

It can be any consuming, life-driving want. It could be something material, something spiritual, or a life partner and soulmate. It is asking us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves because of what we don’t have and ask ourselves why we want it in the first place.

Why do we want to celebrate Valentine’s day? Keep in mind, my only exposure to the holiday is the one dripping in American commercialism. “Cheap chocolate and an excuse to buy a bottle of wine” is a perfectly acceptable answer to the question. I like to think that the real motivation is the holiday serves as a prompt to make some sweet, sincere small gesture to show the people in our life how much we care.

This series, this blog is my gesture of appreciation to you. I am thankful to you for reading this. Thank you for appreciating the art and adventure of Tarot with me.


Did you know that anytime you get a reading here, you get your choice of topic? You can ask a specific question, choose a general topic (like romance or relationships or leave the whole reading open and let spirit lead the way.

My Tarot Valentine: Mischief

Bawdy is a fun word. So is burlesque. And unabashed.

The Seven of Swords usually reminds me of the Mundungus character from the Harry Potter movies. He’s a criminal, certainly not trustworthy, greedy, but not pure evil. A sort of nonviolent offender with money on his mind.

The Valentine-context Seven of Swords is a totally different feel. It’s very different energy from the cards so far this season. It is exactly opposite to the innocence we saw in the six of cups.

It brings to mind the “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” quote, but for a whole different reason.

Not every moment is super spiritual and essential to personal growth and development. Spirituality is dour or miserable. Sometimes you have to just live your life. If there is a message here, it feels more like “F*ck it, do what you have to do to make it through.” I’m not suggesting a crime spree for goodness sake…but on the other hand, why not shock polite society a little and do the unthinkable – be happy, be sensual, be human.

My Tarot Valentine: Each Breath

Take a breath.

No, really, take a deep breath. You stopped for a moment to read this (thank you for that) so use it to stare at the screen, look busy but take a deep relaxing breath.

Thanks. I did that too.

The Judgement card is my nemesis. It seems like everyone has a card that resonates with them, that seems to signify where they are in life. Some cards are just comfortable, familiar or welcome. Sometimes a card resonates with an idea or an old battle or some constant struggle…a nemesis.

I won’t introduce you to that particular skeleton in the closet. We’ll get back to that when I get around to writing “Arcana in Balance.”

Still, it is a challenge to connect this card to Valentine’s Day without being overly harsh. So I’ll connect it to a thread of yesterday’s card instead.

Yesterday, the six of cups reminded us of innocence, and the in-the-moment sweetness of simplicity. To taste that sweetness we adults must first release judgements, expectations and pre-conceived notions of what a moment should be. Valentine’s Day this year isn’t business as usual. Let it be the moment it is. Let go of judgement to find your way to the sweetest present moment that you can.

My Tarot Valentine: Sweet

As Sigmund Freud purportedly said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. The adage that “it is what it is” isn’t as bad as it has been used in recent politics. It speaks to a rugged acceptance of the situation at hand in the present moment.

That sort of accepting mindfulness is the essence of childhood innocence. The energy around today’s card brings to mind the simplicity of a child’s lollipop, pink and red heart shapes, and the small paper valentines school children make and exchange. Even we gnarly old folks can get a sip of that sweetness when we let go of worries and expectations and sink into the present moment with that same acceptance.

That kind of sweet innocence and acceptance is the six of cups message for Valentine’s Day. It’s been a devil of a year. As sexy as self confidence may be, whatever your opinion of all the cards and flowers and high expectations, this Valentine’s Day isn’t the usual. The advice is to let go of this year’s expectations. It is what it is, however lonely, however different, however simplified. Let it be a sweet and simple day. Let it be as open and empty and innocent of a moment as you can.

We can get back to the worry and mayhem soon enough. Let the moment be as it is, and let your heart love however it can.

My Tarot Valentine: Compassion in Power

The Queen of Swords rests in power, but in an alive sort of way.

Today’s card keeps with the self-confidence theme that keeps popping up this Valentine’s season.

  • The Devil: the confidence to be counter-culture and ignore Valentine’s Day outright if you want to.
  • 3 of Wands: the confidence to set aside self and pay deep attention
  • 4 of Swords: self-care allows you the ability (and/or confidence)to care for others.
  • Knight of Wands: um, did I mention self-confidence is sexy?
  • 2 of Pentacles: confidence to balance of self and others
  • 5 of cups: the confidence and courage to face difficult emotions with direct communication
  • King of Cups: the confidence to get advice from trusted sources

Today’s Queen of Swords is similar self-confidence but more. This card has an energy of deep and abiding self-acceptance, not mere confidence. It is the difference between knowing something and iternalizing, itegrating and BEing something. There is great peace that comes with that. That peace spills over into all sorts of relationship. The more you accept and the more you authentically live your highest truth and truest self, the less other peoples judgement matters. The more happy you are with yourself, the less you depend on others for happiness to exist. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more accepting you are of others in theirs. The more you are compassionate toward yourself, the more you can be compassionate to others.

The knight cards, and the other cards so far may be self confidence in action, but today, the Queen of Swords is self confidence at peace.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Two Hearts Can Be Better Than One

No video today…having some issues with the YouTube upload. If I can get it to work, I’ll add the video later below. Before we move on to the card, what do you think of the video / written post combination? Comments are open now, so don’t hesitate to speak up (unless you are speaking in spam.) What do you like about the blog? Hate about it? Let me know what kind of Tarot content you want to read, and I’ll do what I can to create it.

I like the authenticity the videos lend to a post. You can see the card drawing itself. You can see that this is a real, random card draw for the post. It gives a visual, relatable window into the Tarot process over and above a static card image. Because of the large file size, it isn’t practical to do this with full, customized distance readings, but for these general audience, short, one card meditations, the blog and YouTube videos (usually) play well together. By that same token, the written blog gives us the space and pace to explore the card with more depth and thoughtfulness than video will tolerate. I can take a few seconds to stop and listen to spirit and intuition while I’m writing. Those few seconds of dead air in a video are a long boring eternity. I like to think that this combination is the best of both mediums.

Other days, like today, are in full “dammit Jim, Imma writer not a yootoober” mode. If I have to re-shoot a video, then the random part of the draw gets lost unless I draw a whole new card, which is easy enough to do. Other times, like today, the first card has something to say. The King of Cups wants to be heard, so I’ll listen despite the technical glitches both in filming and uploading. And no, it isn’t friggen’ Mercury.

Actually, it is a short, simple, straightforward message.

Talk it out.

Relationships are important things. They are hardwired to connect outwardly, and by their very definition and nature connect to other people. Relationships are not something that can be sorted out if they are a swirling jumble inside just your own head. If, for whatever reason, you are not able to talk it out with the significant other in question, then a sounding board of some sort is really helpful. Yes, by all means, talk, text, write, send smoke signals, do anything and everything you can to communicate directly with the other person in the relationship. If that isn’t possible, then talk it out with somebody. At the very least, talk it out in a journal. Turn the self-talk outward be it with pen and paper or be it talking with a trusted friend or family or therapist or psychic or what have you. The process of talking it out, the process of verbalizing or writing it all out may be exactly the process you need to make sense of it all. Have a heart to heart chat with your pet. Organizing your thoughts and feelings and channeling them through your language centers might just be the bridge from feeling to knowing that you need. It is the switch that makes the light bulb click on.

This has nothing to do with traditional interpretations for the card. It is pure intuition in the context of this “My Tarot Valentine” series, but the advice here is also to talk about any big changes in a romantic relationship before your make up your mind and begin the conversation with your love interest. It has that ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it feels important for someone out there’ feeling.

It feels like it is important to talk out the relationship, and any changes you have in mind, yes, but before you act, talk to someone trusted who is older than you and of the same gender as the significant other in question. I ‘hear’ “slow your roll.” Clairaudience is like clairvoyance, except for me when I say ‘hear’ it means that the intuition is in the form of words instead of mental images. I can teach you more about that another time (watch this space!)

But to stay on message…relationships connect outward, so if you have any concerns about a relationship, process it outwardly. Don’t keep going in emotionally charged circles inside your own head. Write it out in a journal if nothing else. Change to a relationship in terms of this card today holds no judgement. It can be good or bad, depending on your individual situation and needs. Whether you are thinking of popping the question or cutting the cord, talk it out with someone you trust, someone who wants the best for you who is a friend or relative (someone who is NOT invested in the outcome except for your happiness) Talk it out with someone older or wiser, preferably someone of the same gender as your significant other. I don’t know why that part, I’m just trusting the intuition there.

And there, as I always say at the end of a reading, the energy steps back.


Technical gremlins are afoot.

So are some changes for spring. I’m not going to give a “hard opening” for a new distance reading that I hope to develop. I’m hoping to announce a big change for the spring equinox. Please go to the right side of the page (or scroll WAYYYY down if you are on mobile) and follow the blog so all new posts, video or otherwise, will come right to you inbox along with the big announcement. Well, not that big. Think cool, new and improved. Nifty and fun even. Stay tuned!

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Into every life a little funk must fall

It’s a mood.

The Five of Cups is one of those cards that means nearly the same right side up or upside down (reversed as we Tarot types say.) No matter how you approach reversals in your readings, this card is a mood and a vibe either way.

It’s a time for a little smooth jazz or ambient electronica kind of day. I have a feeling we are heading for a Valentines season just like this. No matter how small the “hallmark holiday” is to you as an individual, the collective energies might catch up with intuitives, empaths and sensitives a little bit today. Plus, importantly, it is OK to catch a genuine mood yourself and not blame it on the general zeitgeist. Into every life a little funk must fall.

I call myself a Taoist (among other things) because I tend to see life through a yin-yang lens. Life is ever changing, the taijitu (yin-yang symbol) is ever moving and you can never step into the same river (or quite the same mood) twice. Flowing water is a fairly consistent image for the Five of Cups among Waite-Smith influenced deck, which in turn is consistent with the suit of cups’ association with the element of water. When a mood hits, honor it. Flow with it. It will change soon enough.

So what does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? It gets right back to the emerging pattern from all the cards so far: The best thing you can give the ones is you at your best. The best way to find a soulmate is to find your own happiest life in this present moment. Self-confidence is sexy. Moods come for us all, so flow with yours and be understanding of other people’s.

My Tarot Valentine: I got you

I liked Empire.

Especially the music from the first season. As many TV dramas do, it went off the rails toward the end. Sharks must be jumped it seems.

All in all, my favorite moment in the whole thing was when Cookie told a young Jamal “I got you.”

That hit me right in the motherhood. Maybe it is how I was raised, maybe it us cultural, maybe its just how I’m wired, but to me that’s how a core family (that may or may not be genetically related) show love is by doing for each other. You need HOW many cookies for school tomortow? I got you. You need a ride to WHERE? I got you. You need me to listen? I got you. Need a beer after a long week at work? I got you. Need me to send you a funny political cartoon to make you laugh? I got you. Need a simple answer to a simple question? I got you there too, but it might come on the form of a coffee fueled lecture. Accepting and loving the beauty of imperfection is another card and another day.

Today, the earthy practicality that goes with the Pentacles has my attention more than the idea of balance that the two specifically emphasizes.

Nothing says “I love you” quite like the stuff you do right after the “I got you.”

My Tarot Valentine 2021: The Whole Enchilada

Enchiladas are tasty.

I wonder how everyone out there in the world is feeling about Valentine’s day. The pandemic is obviously throwing a big monkey wrench in the ‘hallmark holiday’ go out and eat, cards and flowers aspect of the thing. I’m personally more interested on trolling for on-sale leftover chocolate at the mega-mart the on the 15th.

In the huge big picture of things, Valentines Day has become a big commercialized nothing-burger. If you really love someone, any day is a good day to show a token of your affection. I’d say surprising them with it on any other day except Valentines Day would be more fun. Although I’m down with dinners out and heart shaped boxes of chocolates. It’s cool. In these times where indoor gatherings with ANYONE you don’t already live with is an open invitation to mutant viruses that could kill you (or someone you care about) Valentines Day takes on a new importance in that it is a good excuse to communicate with anyone and everyone you know. So fire up those sappy cards and emails – heck, send ’em a .gif. It’s whole usefulness in modern culture has been a reminder to express affection for those for whom we feel affection anyway. And cheap chocolate.

In the whole big picture of things, Valentines Day gives a nod to something big and important in our human existence: love, romance and heart to heart connections of every kind.

The chocolate is a bonus.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Any Little Gesture

Chivalry is such a quaint word.

You don’t hear it much any more. It comes to mind today with the Knight of Cups today, in a sweet, kissy-kissy way. I can’t blame you if you just aren’t in the mood for it. As I write this it is first thing in the morning and I’m not in the mood form much other than a large latte. Like Gurney Halleck in the Dune movie tells us, “moods are a thing for loveplay and cattle” Loveplay it is then.

In another movie, The Crow, Eric tells us (in the scene where he visits Officer Albrecht at home) “Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.” Little things mean a lot. Little gestures mean a lot.

Things that may seem trivial to you at the time might just be a little treasure to those who care about you. Don’t be surprised if small gestures of affection – in any human connection, not just grand romance – give you a little heartbeat of happiness too.